wednesday focus

26 November: To have and to hold…

16 My lover is mine and I am his
Song of Songs 2

In marriage taking things for granted is often the first step to disaster. Relationships need nurturing, growing ad protecting. For too many people the initial joy and delight turns to duty and they end up wondering what it’s all about in the first place.

The pattern of relationships in the Bible encourages constant attention to nurture and growth. Song of songs talks about marriage being like a garden that needs nurturing, each partner must give attention and effort to maintaining and protecting the growth of the relationship.

All of this is based on the mystery at the heart of Christian marriage, that two people become one flesh, they belong to each other, they are no longer their own.

All the statistics show that marriage is good for you! – particularly when compared to cohabiting. It’s part of God’s design for families. But we all know the statistics, even though they have got a little better recently. But the statistics hide the fact that every split is a tragedy whether it’s Madonna and Guy Ritchie or your friends down the street.

Since ancient times the Song of Songs has also been a picture of the relationships between God and the church. It’s in the relationship with God that all people, married or not, find resources to build better human relationships. There we find forgiveness, lasting joy, grace, faithfulness, sacrificial love and so much more.

So today let’s pray for marriages in our church and community:

For Christian marriages that they would be patterned after Gods principles, and that all couples would prioritise the nurture and growth of their relationship

For all considering or preparing for marriage in our parish and elsewhere

For those facing troubles and tensions that they would get good advice and support from friends and others

For spiritual protection for married relationships

19 November - Families...mmm

6Therefore Jesus told his brothers, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. 7The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil. 8You go to the Feast. I am not yet going up to this Feast, because for me the right time has not yet come." 9Having said this, he stayed in Galilee.

John 7: 6-9

When did you last think about Jesus having a family? I guess for most of us it’s big at Christmas, but that’s about it. But Jesus was part of a wider family, not just the infant son of Mary. He had brothers and cousins and all that goes with a wide and extended family. No doubt some of those relationships were good and others more uncertain or disordered. As a single person he had to negotiate all the complexities of the relationships around him.

In John 7, Jesus’ brothers try to persuade him to be more public, but Jesus declines. In fact it seems that they only suggest it because they don’t really believe in him. Many of us can connect with that experience where the motives of those who should be closest to us seem suspect or difficult.

There’s much in John 7 about the identity of Jesus, the motives of those who are seeking to kill him, and the eternal life-giving water that God will give to all who look to him. But the context is also important. That context is a family disagreement in which Jesus played a key part. So when the writer to Hebrews says that, ‘we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are’ (Hebrews 4:15), it’s absolutely true! Jesus lived a real family life.

John Clesse’s famous book ‘Families and how to survive them’ had many insights that can help us as we rejoice and struggle over family life. But as Christians we can come to Jesus not just as the almighty King and saviour, but also as the one who rejoiced and struggled with his earthly family.

Today let’s pray hard for our families and those in the wider community. Let’s bring our issues to Jesus with confidence knowing that he understands. Sometimes we need to trust for miraculous breakthroughs, and at others we need Godly strength to bear up in painful circumstances. But whatever our experience let’s bring families to God for strength, protection and love to fill and surround them. 

This prayer is called ‘A Single Parents Prayer’, but it’s sentiments can be echoed by all…

Lord, grant me time enough to do all the chores,
Join in the games, help with the lessons,
Say the night prayers, and still have a few moments left for me.

Lord, grant me energy enough to be
Bread baker and breadwinner,
knee patcher and [peace maker,
Ball player and bill juggler.

Lord grant me hands enough to
Wipe away the tears,
Reach out when I’m needed,
Hug and to hold. To tickle and touch.

Lord grant me heart enough to
Share and care, listen and to understand
And to make a loving home for my family

November 12 - After remembering…

Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called sons of God.
Matthew 5

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
James 3:17-18

As part of yesterday’s remembrance broadcasts the BBC interviewed the grandsons of a Somerset man who was involved in Word War 1. Even though they knew about his service, the boys had very little understanding of what it was like. As the interviewer talked to them in the muddy fields of today’s northern France, the awful horror of it slowly dawned on them. It was very moving to hear them talking to their grandfather and truly appreciating what he did.

In our annual remembrance it can be very hard to connect with the reality of war and sacrifice. It seems almost unimaginable, too big a thing to be understood.

Likewise the words of Jesus about peace can seem too big to know how to respond. After all, most of us will not be called upon to bring peace to the Congo or chair the United Nations. So what does peace mean in our normal, everyday lives?

That’s where James is so helpful. For James peacemaking is not firstly about politicians or armies. It’s about how we talk to one another, and what we do in our relationships. In chapter 2 he has spoken about not having favourites and making faith and deeds have consistency and integrity. Just before these words in chapter 3 he talks about how speech must be Godly and he ends the chapter with his comments about peace.

After Remembrance Day things should not carry on as normal. If it’s just a yearly ritual we have missed the point. We should be those who ask God’s Spirit to shape us to be ‘considerate’ (what about our annoying neighbour or difficult work colleague?), ‘full of mercy and good fruit’ (how’s it going with the family member we find hard to forgive?), ‘impartial’ and ‘sincere’ (how will we handle the conflict at work or his year’s tax return?).

We build peace in the world by starting as people of peace ourselves. Man of those who fought for their country had no choice in following orders, even tough that took them to places of unimaginable pain.

You and I have freedom and choice. What will we sow today that will prove our remembrance is more than skin deep? Will we honour those who gave everything by doing something?

O God of truth and justice,
we hold before you those whose memory we cherish,
and those whose names we will never know.
Help us to lift our eyes above the torment
    of this broken world,
and grant us the grace to pray
    for those who wish us harm.
As we honour the past,
    may we put our faith in your future;
for you are the source of life and hope,
now and for ever.
Amen.

O God,
loving parent of all,
comfort your children
displaced, wounded or orphaned
by conflict in Congo;
and give the people of that country
courage to seek enduring peace with
justice and freedom,
that their children might grow up without fear;
for the sake of your Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

5 November - Who holds the future?

When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified. But he said to them, "It is I; don't be afraid." Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.
John 6:19-21

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.
John 6: 27

As the US election comes to a climax, voters have  expressed their will about the future. Votes will have been cast for a whole variety of reasons and hopes. Many people will have wondered who they can trust and what would bring lasting value, both for their personal situation, for their country and wider world.

Trust and lasting value are  not just political concerns, but are about the whole of life. In the midst of the miracle of feeding the 5000 Jesus engages with the issues of trust and value. Trust is not to be put in financial respects or material provision, but in the person of Jesus, lasting value will be found in the eternal life that Jesus himself offers.

Jesus: the one who can be trusted in all situations. Jesus the one whose bread will sustain forever. As many of us wonder about personal finances and the future of our world, it is not a political agenda which brings true hope, but the person of Jesus. No matter what one individual or candidate may offer, trusting Jesus is the only sure way beyond living in fear and when all our material resources are finished, only his eternal life will carry us on. In him is true hope for the future.

• Pray for all who have responsibility for leadership in the world, especially for the new president, leadership and people of the US.

• Where do Jesus’ words ‘do not be afraid’ speak into your life?

• What kind of ‘food’ does your life show you are working for?